“I know someday you’ll have a beautiful life,
I know you’ll be a sun in somebody else’s sky, but why
Why, why can’t it be, can’t it be mine”– Pearl Jam “Black”
I no longer count the days that were washed away. But when I look back it’s a dark tunnel with nothing to portray. And when the sun goes down everyday, I spin off into a world were reality lifts. In a place where your hands trace my olive skin, my veins lighting up like a road map leading the way. My skin dances as you follow the curves and crevices. The warmth of your body blankets mine as what is mine becomes yours. Then your lips meet my ear as you whisper softly what I used to hear…
The melody of your voice carries away as the golden rays seep through the cracks of my room. And now my bitter hands are greeted by cold sheets on the other side of the bed. It takes a second to wake from the love I can’t hold onto. And I realize it’s just another morning without you here. Soon enough, another night…
It’s the quiet that hurts. It’s the ache that I feel when our favorite song comes on the radio. It’s me looking for you when I go out, every corner, every turn. It’s me going grocery shopping alone. It’s me at night waiting for a call that never comes. It’s when I pass by a restaurant that we used to eat at. It’s when I order my coffee that I got you hooked on. It’s the smell of bacon, it’s the sunset we used to watch, and the pictures I keep under my bed. It’s all the little ways I remember you. They haunt me everyday.
It’s our love turning black, fading away.