I never wanted to fall in love with you.
I never wanted to want the tearing down of dreams and the replacement of them with fresh dreams, all under the pretence that this is reality. I never wanted to be sweating against some stranger on a Piccadilly bound bus; I never asked for the ability to navigate the underground with two people in tow.
I never asked for you.
I got ushered right into the middle of you and I fell in love with a boy in your outskirts and as I shot back from the your very centre a year later, you shouted after me until I saw a world without him for the first time.
You know what you are? You are a person who is told, time and time and time again,
Do it this way
Mind the gap
And you never learn.
You’re like me. I will never learn. Yet I want to do just that, for three years, in the underbelly of you.
There was a girl who read religiously and loved shallowly and believed everything she was told and cringed if she disobeyed, and you would have swallowed her whole.
But now she is someone who savours last lines and blank spaces. Who falls in love without really noticing until one day she looks into his eyes and her heart goes ‘oh look, they’re brown’, and it doesn’t matter that all the other eyes were blue. She believes nothing is possible until she has committed it to memory, and even then she had trouble. And she needs you.
Here i am, clinging to a solitary raindrop,yet you will split the heavens in two for me until I am saturated, sobbing in the middle of covent garden.
Somebody told me to live today and tonight as though I had chosen you.
I think that tomorrow I will wake up miserable.