No Two People Are “Meant” To Be Together!

This is BS and a fairy tale!

Of all the relationships I have been in, there have been three that lasted over at least 2 years. In all three relationships, I felt something special with them, respectively. I mean, obviously, because if you spend that much time with somebody, it’s evident that you have a connection or else you would have never spent all that time with them in the first place.

In all three of the relationships I mentioned, I felt like (at one point or another) a future was ensured. I really hurt one of the guys and I’ve really regretted doing it ever since, because he was a great catch and has went on to do amazing things in his life (I have him added on Facebook). I made some bad choices based on trying to make another person in my life happy and trying to acquire their approval so much so that I sacrificed my relationship with him in the process. My relationship with him was virtually perfect and flawless before I messed things up. I believe he and I could have had an incredible life together.

Things just didn’t work out with the two other guys, but they were great, too. I will always have a love for all three of them, because like I just said, if you spend that much time with somebody and share a love that lasts that long, you will feel it in you forever.

However, I don’t believe in this idea that two people are simply “meant” to be together!

I could say that about all three of the guys I just mentioned, especially the one I hurt!

That fable assumes our fate is predestined, which is BS! Any decision we make, anywhere, before a given situation develops can completely alter that situation as can any decision another person makes or any development we react to.

Breath

I like smoking at parties now

My fingers are dusty with ink
from packing sentences into paragraph packing crates
so I can leave out of the front door one day;

You are telling me you’ve found a new way to kill you.

You shared a lighter with the boy
who put me out with tepid water,
who would have kept my bones as keepsakes.
His lips, your lungs,
my wings.

I have passed from breath to breath
until I was ash caught in the mercy of the wind.
I am not smoke. I fly free from his lips and your lungs.

Smoke your cigarettes.

I Think My Boyfriend Has Commitment Issues

Do any of my dear readers want to help me out or diagnose a situation? I sure could use your help! My boyfriend who I’ve been dating for the better part of this year is extremely aloof and noncommittal over certain aspects of our relationship. He’s wonderful, virtually perfect as a man, but I want more. I have this fear that he is never going to fully commit to me. Even though he hasn’t stated it, I think he’s still not over his ex. She lied to him, cheated on him and led him on for years of his life. I have no idea why a dumb bitch like that would lead on a perfect man like him. That’s awful. But sometimes I feel like he’s completely broken. Am I just the rebound? If any of my readers can offer me some sound advice, that would be wonderful!

Today, I Logged Into MySpace for the First Time in Years

I thought I would have forgotten my email and password by now, but nope, I remembered them. I expected to be hit by a flashback of memories when I logged into MySpace, but instead I saw how everything was wiped out.

I made my MySpace account sometime in 2004, and everything. All comments and all the messages. Gone.

Kinda sad, really. It’s like missing history. I feel like I should have saved some of the old messages, perhaps copy and pasted them to Wordpad or something. I dislike how everything was deleted.

First world problems? I feel like it’s so tragic that I can’t just go back and read old messages from over the years since they are all gone now. Ugh. Even though I never cared to log in and read them before, it bothers me that I can’t do it now!

MySpace, why did you wipe out everyone’s message and comment history?!

The Invitation

If you plan on coming
Do not try to blind me.

I want your annotations,
your limitations,
spirals of doubt wrapped in gauze.

I want your corrupt opinions,
Your flawed biology,
What sits in the bags under your eyes.

If you plan on coming,
Come second hand.
Chipped at the edges.

The world has made judges of eyes.
Humour them.
Leave before they reach a verdict.
You are
The verdict.

Come as you are.