Wishing all my blogging friends a happy new year!
If your love was real, you never stop loving them.
If the other person ever meant anything to you, you always will feel something for them. Even if it ended bitterly, there will be a residue of feelings. That’s just how love works.
As much as I wish my heart had an on/off switch and I could just go on with my life, ending loving feelings for someone has never been that easy. It is like a funeral “In loving memory of…..” because in the end it’s just the memories of both the good and the bad that stays long after the love is gone. Emotions are complex, when a relationship ends there is an undefined part of you that stays with that person no matter what. Perhaps because at one point in your life he/she is what makes you WHOLE.
But put quite simply, the person you loved, (still love?) doesn’t really exist anymore except inside your head and your heart. What we truly mean when we say, “I still love Him/Her” is that we love OUR MEMORY of that person and that love.
This is BS and a fairy tale!
Of all the relationships I have been in, there have been three that lasted over at least 2 years. In all three relationships, I felt something special with them, respectively. I mean, obviously, because if you spend that much time with somebody, it’s evident that you have a connection or else you would have never spent all that time with them in the first place.
In all three of the relationships I mentioned, I felt like (at one point or another) a future was ensured. I really hurt one of the guys and I’ve really regretted doing it ever since, because he was a great catch and has went on to do amazing things in his life (I have him added on Facebook). I made some bad choices based on trying to make another person in my life happy and trying to acquire their approval so much so that I sacrificed my relationship with him in the process. My relationship with him was virtually perfect and flawless before I messed things up. I believe he and I could have had an incredible life together.
Things just didn’t work out with the two other guys, but they were great, too. I will always have a love for all three of them, because like I just said, if you spend that much time with somebody and share a love that lasts that long, you will feel it in you forever.
However, I don’t believe in this idea that two people are simply “meant” to be together!
I could say that about all three of the guys I just mentioned, especially the one I hurt!
That fable assumes our fate is predestined, which is BS! Any decision we make, anywhere, before a given situation develops can completely alter that situation as can any decision another person makes or any development we react to.
It’s a cruel world, but do your best to find/have positive people in your life while in it to shine a light on what’s good. There’s good in most things if you are willing to see it. You just have to make an effort to open your eyes and look.
… But if you describe yourself as a “bad person” or a “horrible person”, you shouldn’t reproduce. That is irresponsible. You should sterilize yourself in order to be removed from the gene pool.
I like smoking at parties now
My fingers are dusty with ink
from packing sentences into paragraph packing crates
so I can leave out of the front door one day;
You are telling me you’ve found a new way to kill you.
You shared a lighter with the boy
who put me out with tepid water,
who would have kept my bones as keepsakes.
His lips, your lungs,
I have passed from breath to breath
until I was ash caught in the mercy of the wind.
I am not smoke. I fly free from his lips and your lungs.
Smoke your cigarettes.
I appall the word exercise. Shouldn’t it be training? As in training for the forces of life as we get older and age?
I stopped doing run-in-place cardio because I realized how silly it is. I focus primarily on lifting and boxing now, and for the first time in six years I have abs showing! I used to be scared to lift any weights a few years ago because I thought I’d get bulky and unattractive, but this is how I see it: if guys, with infinitely more testosterone in their bodies than me, struggle to bulk and significantly put on muscle, then how should I expect to? It’s purely logic! That was my eureka moment!
Now I feel that my discipline is impregnable. And my ass looks even better from all the squatting and lunges.
I’m a happy camper.
ONE DAY, WHETHER YOU
YOU WILL STUMBLE UPON
SOMEONE WHO WILL START
A FIRE IN YOU THAT CANNOT DIE.
HOWEVER, THE SADDEST,
MOST AWFUL TRUTH
YOU WILL EVER COME TO FIND––
IS THEY ARE NOT ALWAYS
WITH WHOM WE SPEND OUR LIVES.
— BEAU TAPLIN, “THE AWFUL TRUTH”